The skewed perspective of a conservative Catholic employee-side employment lawyer living in the most exciting city in the Milky Way, Las Vegas, Nevada USA, who listens to a lot of really strange music and who, for some reason, lives and dies St. Louis Cardinal baseball

4/30/2005

The Scorpion and the Frog: Terrell Owens and the Iggles

Once again, we are reminded of the old fable of the Scorpion and the Frog:

One day, a scorpion looked around at the mountain where he lived and decided that he wanted a change. So he set out on a journey through the forests and hills. He climbed over rocks and under vines and kept going until he reached a river.
The river was wide and swift, and the scorpion stopped to reconsider the situation. He couldn't see any way across. So he ran upriver and then checked downriver, all the while thinking that he might have to turn back.
Suddenly, he saw a frog sitting in the rushes by the bank of the stream on the other side of the river. He decided to ask the frog for help getting across the stream.
"Hellooo Mr. Frog!" called the scorpion across the water, "Would you be so kind as to give me a ride on your back across the river?"
"Well now, Mr. Scorpion! How do I know that if I try to help you, you wont try to kill me?" asked the frog hesitantly.
"Because," the scorpion replied, "If I try to kill you, then I would die too, for you see I cannot swim!"
Now this seemed to make sense to the frog. But he asked. "What about when I get close to the bank? You could still try to kill me and get back to the shore!"
"This is true," agreed the scorpion, "But then I wouldn't be able to get to the other side of the river!"
"Alright then...how do I know you won't just wait till we get to the other side and THEN kill me?" said the frog.
"Ahh...," crooned the scorpion, "Because you see, once you've taken me to the other side of this river, I will be so grateful for your help, that it would hardly be fair to reward you with death, now would it?!"
So the frog agreed to take the scorpion across the river. He swam over to the bank and settled himself near the mud to pick up his passenger. The scorpion crawled onto the frog's back, his sharp claws prickling into the frog's soft hide, and the frog slid into the river. The muddy water swirled around them, but the frog stayed near the surface so the scorpion would not drown. He kicked strongly through the
first half of the stream, his flippers paddling wildly against the current.
Halfway across the river, the frog suddenly felt a sharp sting in his back and, out of the corner of his eye, saw the scorpion remove his stinger from the frog's back. A deadening numbness began to creep into his limbs.
"You fool!" croaked the frog, "Now we shall both die! Why on earth did you do that?"
The scorpion shrugged, and did a little jig on the drownings frog's back.
"I could not help myself. It is my nature."
Then they both sank into the muddy waters of the swiftly flowing river.

(Emphasis added). I recently alluded to this tale in describing the relationship between the U.S. and France. It is so applicable to the recent goings-on in Philadelphia regarding their dispute with star WR Terrell Owens. T.O. Is a no-show at Iggle mini-camp. He wants to renegotiate his contract. And he's poisoning the team. Why? Because it is his nature, for that it what T.O. does.

Much like the scorpion in the fairy tale (and, yes, I know what I am doing using that phrase in reference to Terrell Owens), T.O. wants to go to the Super Bowl. He hops a ride on the back on Donovan McNabb to cross that particular river to get to the Super Bowl side of the stream. His motivations are wholly sincere. But in the middle of the crossing, he has to stab his stinger in the Iggles collective back. He genuinely cannot help himself. It is genuinely his nature.

The Iggles knew it when they signed him. They have been betting that they, unlike said frog, would be strong enough to survive the poison once T.O. has let loose, as all should have known he eventually would. Given the inherent weakness of the NFC, perhaps they will be. I expect them to be. T.O. is an amazingly talent receiver; but he will never be able to overcome his true nature.
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